Sunday, August 7, 2011

Broney's Alumni Grill

The Booze Brothers conquer Athens

The last stop on the Court Street Shuffle is also my personal favorite bar on campus. This statement cost me the affection of a cute but judgmental blond haired hipster girl who admired my sharp blue eyes and funny anti-Bush Administration t-shirt from Urban Outfitters. Setting that aside I for one argue that Broney's is one of the most neutral bars on campus. You really do get all sorts of people here, athletes, bros, greeks, hipsters, hippies, townies. That's the beautiful thing about Broney's. There's a little something for everyone.

First of all it's a newer bar so it's a lot cleaner and has a level of shine to it still. There's a diverse alcohol selection that ranges from PBR tallboys to top shelf liquors like Patron and Crown Royal (you can even buy Johnny Walker Blue at $16 a shot). They have a great beer selection at their two bars and if you ask the owner Brad nicely he may even let you in on his personal stash. Music tends to usually be danceable pop and rap played earsplitingly loud (a negative aspect to me), but then again a large percentage of people that go to Broney's want to dance. The large number of people sweating on each other as they bump and grind on the dance floor can make it difficult to move around. Their patio allows patrons to have a place to talk without your conversation being drowned out by the glorious cheesiness of "I Like It" by Enrique Inglesias. The pool table in the back of the bar is sure to keep the sharks hustling all night. Whether your more into Ralph Lauren or American Apparel, fedoras or flat-billed 59-fifties you can always have a good time at Broney's, but you don't have to enjoy all of it.

This bar also has some of the most sociable bartenders in Athens. Stop in often enough and they basically consider you as close as family. They know what you're like, they know your favorite drinks by heart and will even go out of their way to make your night at their bar the best part of your night. Just don't mess around with Brad, he used to play football for OU and he'd set you straight.

Maybe I'm just biased because I have a lot of connections to the place, but then again I did state these are my opinions on each bar. Most people have one or two bars that they stick to, not me. I don't discriminate, I regulate. Maybe you'll come up with something different. It's all good you know, different strokes for different folks. Hope everyone down in Athens has fun this year. I'll be down at least for Homecoming. Word is bond. Peace.

People who would probably drink here:
Kanye West, Katy Perry, Seth Rogan, Derek Jeter, David and Victoria Beckham, Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, Bono, William Jefferson Clinton, Kate Upton, Ryan Lochte, Eric Herman of the New York Giants, Usher, David Bowie, Zooey Deschanel, and of course Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

LeBomb James

12 East

Eastbound and Down

Located on Carpenter Street near the mouth of Court, this bar has not even been in Athens for 2 years and it is already facing quite a bit of trouble. From shaky business to threats of eviction 12 East's first year in Athens was a rocky one. That's a damn shame too because you can tell that it has some potential. I know it has a ways to go before it can compete with the bars on Court and Union but just give it time. This bar usually does not get much business so noise and crowds are not a concern here, but the lack of them is equally disturbing. Give it a shot. Athens has already lost the Blue Gator, The Graduate, 19 South, Mr. Bojangles, and a number of other bars, we don't want to add 12 East to that list.

People who would probably drink here:
Ed Gein, enough said. Oh yeah! Hunter S Thompson


What to order:

Happy Meal (a beer and a well shot)

Courtside Sports Bar


Life In The Cat Lane

Hollywood in the 1980s had Studio 54. Athens in the 2000s has Courtside. You could say that because this is the primary bar where the the Ohio Bobcat athletes and the people that want a piece of them tend to hang out. An evening at Courtside means you're bound to run into some campus celebrities.
I would know, I'm an ex-OU athlete myself and even after the men's swimming team got cut my teammates and I were still carousing with the other teams on the weekends here at C-Side. At Courtside you are also likely to run into athletic department groupies, these are called 'jersey chasers,' who's only ambition is to land an athlete.In addition to athletes and their groupies Courtside also attracts a wide array of people from campus, including Greeks, business majors, grad students, and as always Erol Civan.

Nights at Courtside are often wild, patrons are often packed in like sardines, the music is turned up so loud that it is almost impossible to hear what your friends are saying, and it usually takes a while to get a drink. You can find people carousing in the bar's beer garden, dancing to eardrum pulsingly loud rap and electropop music on the tables and on the dance floor, and ordering round upon round of overpriced beers, mixed drinks, and shots at the establishment's two bars. Courtside is the Mecca of the mixed shot, which is not so much a shot but a small 2 ounce sample of a fruity bitch-drink that does next to nothing to actually get you drunk. This environment will naturally create a level of jackassery, but it's just the price you have to pay if you're planning on spending your night at this particular bar. Look at the bright side, at least it's not The Crystal.

Also make sure that you tip the bartenders well, they don't take it well if you don't. Final word of advice, if that sexy tan blond in the tight black dress ignores you when you try talking to her, that's because you're not an athlete and she's an exclusive starfucker. Don't feel bad about it, she'd only make your life miserable one day.

People who would probably drink here:
Rob Gronkowski, Jay-Z, LeBron James, Cristiano Ronaldo, Misty May-Treinor, Rihanna, Mick Jagger, Drake, Michael Phelps, Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, Russell Brand, Alex Morgan, Terrell Pryor, Candace Parker, Biggie Smalls, Cameron Diaz, Hunter S Thompson 

What to order:

Jack & Coke and a shot of Tequila

Casa Cantina

Hippie Hops

Sort of Jackie O's vegan country cousin, Casa Cantina is another great hippie bar. Not a place for party crazy bros or girls looking to dance to Justin Bieber. Also so you know, this bar frequently refuses to serve shufflers. Casa is much more of a 'lay back and enjoy your beer' kinda bar. With an excellent beer selection, and even a few barrels of Jackie O's brews, Casa is a great place to hang out and listen to the band jam while you enjoy a pale ale and good conversation with your friends.

In fact when I was preparing to study abroad in Salzburg, Austria my junior year the other members of my study group and I met at Casa on Tuesday nights after class to drink a beer, polish up our German, and arrange our travel plans. It's more of a meeting place than a party place. Just come here to enjoy life.

People who would probably drink here:
Sigmund Freud, Jerry Garcia, Rosa Luxembourg, Che Guevara, Arthur Conan Doyle, Abbie Hoffmann, Herbert Marcuse, Tom Morello, Anthony Bourdain, Thomas Paine, Sam Adams, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Depends on your preference. I personally go for Paulaner Hefe-Weizen.

Tony's Tavern



On The Road Again

This dive bar is a refuge for hipsters and townies that wander past Union Street to see what Court has in store. Though looked down upon by students that frequent Courtside, Junction, and The Crystal it is one of Athens' best kept secrets. Its grungy beatnik feel only adds to its coolness. Its shack-like appearance only makes it more intimate. If you want to escape from the thumping electropop that you've been hearing everywhere else on this side of town then come on up to Tony's and play a round of darts while you sip Killians and PBR.

Music is usually rock and hardcore rap. The playlist includes The Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, Wu-Tang Clan, and Nas. It's a chill laid back little place that I'm sure Jack Kerouac would've loved if his journey on the road went through Athens.

Finally, what would a night at Tony's be without a round or two of 'Hot Nuts.' These hot tasty shots of coffee and liquor are good at any time of year.

People who would probably drink here:
Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jack Kerouac, Jimi Hendrix, Joan Baez, John Bonham, James Dean, Eddie Vedder, Neal Cassidy, Allen Ginsberg, Shirley Manson (Garbage), Helena Bonham Carter, Liv Tyler, Collin Farrell, Patti Smith, Kate Hudson, Karen O, William S Burroughs, Dennis Hopper, Peter Fonda, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Hot Nut

The Junction



Ain't Nuthing But A J Thang

The proving ground for fake i.d.'s, The Junction you could say is the homely sister of The Crystal. Since I rarely ever stopped in here during my time in Athens I really couldn't tell you that much about the place. It is however, known for it's reddish variation of the Blackout known as the Junction Punch. This is another fruity drink that is meant to kick your liver around like a soccer ball. Usually inhabited by bros, sorority girls, and underclassmen that are trying to test out their new fake i.d.'s.

This past year Junction was gutted and reinvented embracing once and for all its longstanding nickname: J Bar. I never stayed long whenever I was here, but better days are ahead for J. Or at least they should be. Give it time to mature, and get those goddamn under-agers out. The Crystal wouldn't mind serving them. Especially since they're too preoccupied not paying their taxes to check for identification.

People who would probably drink here:
Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, the kid from Jerry Maguire, Michael Jackson, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Windex

The Pub

Rufus Bobcat and the Holy Ale

The closest thing we've got to a honky-tonk in Athens. This bar can be a good time if you're looking for a more laid back surrounding on Court. Pub is one of Athens' best gastropubs, with one of the best burgers in town, and a formidable watering hole. The girls that bartend here are cute and nice and if it's not too loud will make more of an effort to talk to patrons than the bartenders at other bars. This is where tipping is important. Though not an essential part of a great evening it's for sure worth stopping in every once and a while.

The Pub is known for it's gigantic glass chalices of beer called Aquariums. This is the most commonly ordered libation here and it even plays a role in the Pub's Sunday tradition, 'Church.' At 'Church' an Aquarium is used as the blood of Christ in a spoof of the liturgy of the Eucharist. If you don't mind a little blasphemy come on down.If you're on a shuffle though, since you very likely already had a Mega Mug at Red Brick you might want to forgo the Aquarium in favor of an Irish Asprin. This is a shot of Jameson and a chaser shot of OJ.

The negative side of this place though is that it is pretty small and it can be hard to get around depending on when you're in there.

People who would probably drink here:
Bill Maher, Christopher Hitchens, Bjork, Woody Allen, Lance Armstrong, Julianne Moore, Bret Easton Ellis, Hugh Hefner, John Lennon, Jack Nicholson, Sarah Silverman, Frank Zappa, Angelina Jolie, Mark Zuckerberg, Katharine Hepburn, Ayn Rand, Mark Twain, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Irish Asprin 

Pawpurr's Bar



The Throng Remains Insane

If any bar in Athens was named the official drinking establishment of Ohio University it would be Pawpurr's. That doesn't mean that it's not also the most overrated bar in town, but what would you rather be overrated or sober? Pawpurr's is incredibly small, sticky floored, and perpetually smells like piss, shit, and vomit. I guess you can accredit that to the Athens bar scene's most famous event: Primetime! For those of you that don't know Primetime happens every night from 8-9. Drinks are half-priced and every goddamn student in Athens flocks to it as if Jesus Christ himself is gonna make an appearance.

Since it seems nearly impossible to get served during Primetime bar patrons usually order two strong, fruity, electric blue cocktails known as 'Blackouts" and double fist them for the hour. A Blackout is right deserving of its name. It contains about four shots worth of vodka, blue curacao, sprite, and a splash of Smirnoff Ice black cherry. It's color, taste, and alcohol content will have you think that you just drank radiator fluid from a pub in Chernobyl. Two of these motherfuckers will have you crawling on your hands and knees in an alcoholic stupor.I prefer the Black Widow across the street at Pigskin myself.


The music varies from everything from Bob Dylan to Trey Songz. The personalities of the bartenders vary greatly as well from the laid back and easy going to the narcissistic and sociopathic. Makes you never sure how much you should tip them. I'm technically banned for life from this place for calling out the resident sociopath, but that's another story. I'm sure everyone else won't really care.

Despite holding the crown jewel in Uptown Athens' bar scene, after the bell rings at 9 pm every night Pawpurr's patronage is decimated. Maybe these people only stopped by because they wanted to get drunk first and save their money for a nicer bar with better atmosphere, and better bartenders. Though hundreds of students come and go throughout the rest of the night, there still is no topping the dense numbers that Primetime wrought.

People who would probably drink here:
Bode Miller, F Scott Fitzgerald, Jackson Pollack, Amy Winehouse, Robert Downy Jr., Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Billie Holladay, Left Eye, Drew Barrymore, Hank Williams, Samuel L Jackson, (consult a list of past and present alcoholics) which wouldn't be complete without Hunter S Thompson (seems to be a trend)

What to order:

Blackout 

The Pigskin Bar and Grille


Let Me Drink Next To Your Fire

It's all good times and southern hospitality at this gastropub. After a round of much needed renovations the Pigskin has emerged more popular than ever when it comes to both having a good meal and going out on the tiles afterward. The renovations have opened up more room and allowed Pigskin to increase its business. The bar also has a back deck that students flock to during the warmer months so they can actually hear each other talk. Yeah, it gets pretty noisy in here.

I used to think that it was an alright place to go but after it reopened this past year, it has gained a new level of wild popularity in Athens. This bar attracts a diverse crowd and really avoids being labeled in ways that other bars fall short of.

Why not try washing down your pulled pork sandwich with a sweet mixed drink known as a Black Widow. A Black Widow is like five drinks rolled into one. This is the only time when it is acceptable for a man to drink something this fruity tasting. One of these is all it really takes to impair you from driving anywhere for the rest of the night and it can lead to some pretty unruly behavior after two.

Pigskin has excellent variety on their jukebox and a respect for truly great music. Here bands like Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, Cream, AC/DC, The Black Keys, and the Black Crowes are favored over our times array of forgettable pop-hop.

People who would probably drink here:
The Followill brothers (Kings of Leon), Ludacris, Jimmy Page, Minka Kelly, Jennifer Aniston, Mila Kunis, Derek Trucks, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marisa Miller, Gary Clark Jr., William Faulkner, Outkast, Jim James (My Morning Jacket), Paul Newman, Tennessee Williams, Jack Daniels, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Black Widow

The Crystal

Protect Ya Bottleneck...you might get roofied. 

For a non-Greek like me waking up the morning after with a stamp on my hand from The Crystal is about as bad as waking up with a herpe on your lip. For those of you looking for the douchiest bar in Athens look no further than the rhinestone studded gates of Crystal hell. I will be the first to admit The Crystal is probably one of the nicest bars in Athens with its rich mahogany booths and its spacious beer soaked threshing floor, but the specimens of frat douche and sorority bimbo that lurk inside make this bar almost unbearable to be in for anyone with a brain or a sense of self-respect. The Crystal shares a special place in our society alongside Jersey Shore marathons, Adam Sandler movies, midget porn, Nickelback albums, and Fox News as tasteless trash that caters exclusively to the lowest common denominator. 

Amidst the shiny wooden finish, frat-daddies with their neon-colored American Eagle Polo Shirts, and visors turned askew shout mindlessly like some under-evolved species of primate spilling Bud Light all over themselves as well-maintained but very shallow, bossy, and ditzy sorority girls sip on long, thin tubes of iced down girly drinks while fawning mindlessly over their male compatriots' borderline sexual harassment advances. If you are a non-Greek or simply have an IQ higher than that of a toaster don't try to stir up conversation with these girls. Most of the time they will just blow you off as they are incapable of talking about anything but petty drama that most people abandon after high school. I may be profiling when I say this but many of the people here are superficial and 1-dimensional at best. I won't hold it against you if you go here to drink though, even douche bags have rights and freedoms.

A word of advice for anyone going on their shuffle that is not a Greek or has a level of self-respect, when you get to The Crystal, get in, order a drink that won't take that long to finish, and get out as quickly as possible. You don't want the aroma of douche rubbing off on you.The Crystal is that kinda place that is so vile and horrifying that I'm surprised it didn't make an appearance in Dante's Infero. This is the tenth circle of hell. "Abandon all hope ye who enter here."

People who would probably drink here:
Snooki, Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian, any Fox News anchor (except Shepherd Smith), Adam Sandler, the guy from Nickelback, Toby Keith, Mystikal, The Situation, Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin, Hunter S Thompson (He sure is a crazy fuck)

What to order:

Non-Greeks: some quick mixed shot: Washington Apple
Greek: Heinekens and Jägerbombs, chief! 

The C.I.



Hammer(ed) of the Greek Gods

The C.I. is a special place. Mainly because it's a place where Greeks and GDI's (God Damn Independents for those of you not familiar with the lingo) can meet, drink, and actually get along quite well. C.I. is the perfect combination of Cat's Eye's earthy ruggedness and The Crystal's tacky luster. It gets pretty crowded, but don't worry there's plenty of room for all in the basement, quite arguably the best part of the place. The bartenders however, aren't really that great and it usually takes a while for you to get served. They focus mainly on replenishing the cups of the sorority girls that drop by on their way to The Crystal. Most Athens students have an entire collection of plastic beer cups that they stole from C.I. back at their houses.

Though they keep the drafts of beer flowing like no other, if you want to take you drunkenness to the next level, the bar has an extensive list of Bombs. Jägerbombs, Cherry Bombs, Irish Car Bombs, they're all here. If you want to go for something more unique order you and your friends a round of Swayze Bombs. I'm not sure what's in a Swayze Bomb, but it's blue and it's delicious. If you so thoroughly despise Greek life that you do not even want to be in the same building with these people then don't go getting high at the C.I., but if you don't mind then stop in and pay'em a visit. They even have free peanuts at the front bar during happy hour. MMM-MMM Bitch!

People who would probably drink here:
The entire Delta House from Animal House, Lucy Liu, Brad Pitt, Ashton Kutcher,Will Ferrell, Dave Matthews, Harper Lee, Anne Hathaway, Drew Brees, John Stewart, Julia Louise-Dreyfus, Jeremy Piven, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Swayze Bomb

Red Brick Tavern


Red Hot Drunken Bobcats

Cat's Eye's Cincy sister bar. Located right next to Cat's Eye and across from Lucky's, this is the bar for Bengals and Reds fans. In fact in the fall you can witness drunken shouting matches between Bengals fans at Red Brick and Steelers fans at Lucky's on Sunday afternoons. Stop on in for a Mega Mug of your favorite beer and you're bound to be drunk in no time at all.

There's almost always something going on at Red Brick: live music, karaoke, dance parties, or fundraisers. It is an enjoyable time that offers a unique experience every time you pay a visit, a rare trait of bars on the north end of Court Street. However, this is also one of the narrowest bars in town and has a lower maximum capacity than a lot of other places. This often makes it hard to move around in the bar on weekends when you have to squeeze your way through crowds of drunken Mega Mug wielding students from the College of Arts and Sciences. Despite this, Red Brick is still one of the best bars on this side of town and is sure to please you and leave you with a sweet hangover the morning after.

People who would probably drink here:
Andy Dalton, Joey Votto, George Clooney, Carmen Electra, Ernest Hemingway, Tom Waits, Pete Rose, Steven Spielberg, Charles Manson (post up in the basement), Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Mega Mug

Cat's Eye Saloon




Howlin' For Brew

Right across from Lucky's on Court, this blue collar bar is often frequented by Cleveland sports fans. A small, rustic establishment Cat's Eye offers good times at a good price. Has more than enough breathing room, some of the most sociable bartenders on campus, and great specials on beer. There are several pool tables in the back of the bar making this place a favorite for billiards enthusiasts. It is probably the best place to shoot pool Uptown. The music on the jukebox tends to be eclectic and includes everything from Black Sabbath to Kanye West. A true working man's bar that pays tribute to a working man's town.

People who would probably drink here:
Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney (The Black Keys), Neil Armstrong, John Glenn, Jim Tressel, Eliot Ness, LeBron James (would stay for a drink or two before deciding to take his talents to Courtside), Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

A beer from Great Lakes Brewery. A local brewery in Cleveland. 

Lucky's Sports Tavern

Blackout and Yellow

Due to the recent demise of 19 South this will be the first bar shufflers encounter on the world famous Court Street. Pour out a little liquor from your Rum & Coke liquor pitcher here in South's memory every Wednesday night. If you're more in for an adventure on the other hand ask the bartender to make you and your friends a Lunchbox. This is sort of an alcohol Neapolitan which usually consists of beer mixed with orange juice and a shot of Amaretto and 151.

If you're from out of state however, be prepared to show multiple forms of i.d. at the door. The bouncers tend to be very inquisitive. A friend of mine from New York once had to show 7 forms of i.d. just to get in one time. Also, Lucky's has a bit of a reputation as being the local Steelers bar so Browns and Bengals fans will hate it and boycott going here out of pure spite for the Steel Curtain. Expect to hear Wiz Khalifa's "Black and Yellow" played more times than humanly possible. I however, being a Packers fan, feel a sense of smug satisfaction when I'm in Lucky's after the Pack defeated the Steelers in the Super Bowl this past winter. Overall, unless you're a Steelers fan, Lucky's is just your average sports bar but is worth popping in every once and a while...unless you're wearing an Ochocinco jersey.

People who would probably drink here:
Hines Ward, Wiz Khalifa, Christina Aguilera, Sidney Crosby, Snoop Dogg/Lion, January Jones, Jeff Goldblum, John Grisham, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Liquor pitcher on Wednesdays.  Lunchbox any other time.

The Union Bar and Grill



Hey Ho Let's Go!

Dank, dirty, and dark like CBGB's back in the day, this hipster infested hole in the wall is about as rock and roll as it gets in Athens. Drinks are pretty low key and the crowd is music crazy. Past performers at The Union include The Black Keys, The White Stripes, and The Ataris. The Union is also home to Dance or Die, a dance party hosted by local artist DJ Bartacus. This often draws a large crowd of underclassmen who wash the underage indicating X's off their hands to snag a drink at the bar. If you're Howard Hughes then I would stay away, but if you want to take in Athens' little bit of New York City's Lower East Side then this is the place for you.

People who would probably drink here:
Joey Ramone, Jack White, Slug of Atmosphere, Joe Strummer, Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious, Mick Jones, Johnny Ramone, Iggy Pop, Keith Richards, Kurt Cobain, Yoko Ono, Hilly Kristal, Jack Black, Joan Jett, Hunter S Thompson 

What to order:

PBR drank ironically.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Jackie O's Brew Pub


Jumpin' Jack Flash

The only microbrewery in Athens. This is the place to go for a good beer, good people, and good live music. For Jackie O's every week is Ohio Brew Week. The bar has a list of beers brewed right here in Athens and every one of them is worth a try. From the sweet Razz Wheat to the thick and bold Dark Apparition Russian Imperial Stout there is a beer for everyone here. This is the prime spot for Athens' population of hippies and hipsters alike, of course it can also draw a much more diverse crowd.

It just seems like everyone is friendlier here than at any other place in Athens. The bartenders are some of the most personable people you will meet in this town. They never leave a patron hanging and are always open to recommending what brews you should try. Whether it is the owner, an aging hippie or that cute blond girl, that's paying her way through school, they're good people. The people are always open to conversation on many more topics than just how totally stoned you got last week. When more people in the world start going to Jackie O's for a drink then the world shall know peace.

Another reason to come to Jackie O's is the music. Some of the best bands in the area perform at night. The eclectic array of performers make for an enjoyable evening to any music-lover. Expect to hear everything from bluesy garage rock to acoustic-based folk.It's one of the best spots for local talent and talent scouts for record labels pop by frequently.

For sure make Jackie O's a part of your night out in Athens.

People who would probably drink here:
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad), John F Kennedy, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, Robert Plant, John Bonham, Scarlett Johansson, James Joyce, John Fogerty (CCR), President Obama, Olivia Wilde, Eric Clapton, Hunter S Thompson, Jesus Christ

What to order:

I recommend the Dark Apparition but their microbrew selection is a beer-drinker's dream. Different strokes for different folks.

Buffalo Wild Wings


Drink on little wing

Yeah, I know it's just another corporate chain sports bar. That doesn't mean that it's right to blow it off though. You even stop here on your shuffle. There's a good variety of beer, nice atmosphere, any sports game you can possibly think of, and of course wings. Not much else to say about B Dubbs that you don't already know.

People who would probably drink here:
Steve Berman, Erin Andrews, Danny McBride, your typical blue collar sports fan, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Beer on tap to wash those wings down.

The Smiling Skull Saloon

Woke up this morning and got myself a beer

The Smiling Skull is a well known biker bar on Union Street. It tends to be frequented by townies, bikers passing through, and freshmen, due to their lack of a liquor license. This bar seems intimidating on the outside, but scratch everything you've seen on Sons of Anarchy and give it a chance. Once inside you realize that it's quite a friendly, fun, and laid back little joint. Just don't expect it to be like the bars on North Court. The jukebox is chucked full of music from The Doors, Johnny Cash, Pink Floyd, and Stevie Ray Vaughan. If you're looking to hear some sugar-coated pop crap like Mike Posner, Taio Cruz, Lil Wayne, or Justin Bieber, you might wanna try elsewhere. Overall, the Skull is a chill bar and a surprisingly enjoyable time.

People who would probably drink here:
Johnny Cash, Paul Teutul Sr. of Orange County Choppers, Patrick Swayze, Alice Cooper, Brett Favre, Marlon Brando, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Bottle of beer.

Cat's Den

Cat Power

Unless you choose to start out at the Oak Room, this is your first stop on your shuffle. Cat's Den is a small and laid back little bar on Union Street. It's usually frequented by townies, because of it's low key nature, and hipsters, for it's obscurity. There's not much special about this bar and is usually just used by your average everyday student as a first stepping stone on the Court Street Shuffle.

People who would probably drink here:
Sarah Jessica Parker's parents, J.D. Salinger, Hunter S Thompson

What to order:

Bud Light in a mason jar.

Greetings and Salutations






 My name is Ben, I'm from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and am a recent grad of the prestigious Ohio University in Athens, Ohio. As a student I had many great experiences: I competed as a varsity athlete for the Men's Swimming Team, my freshman year, I studied abroad in Austria and traveled around Europe my junior year, I interned for the U.S. State Department in Vienna, Austria as a fifth year senior, and I made tons of great friends and acquaintances both in and outside of Athens. Anyone even slightly familiar with Athens knows that it's a small drinking town in southeastern Ohio with a college problem. For the past two decades, to the dismay of the administration, we've been on Princeton Review's list of the top party schools. Well we've paid our dues and in 2011 we were finally named to the number 1 spot.

The reason that OU is such a party school is due to one thing...there ain't shit else to do in Athens, hence students resort to drinking copious amounts of malt liquor and doing extensive damage to their livers. There are many things that are special about Athens' unique party atmosphere, the widely open house parties, the out of control street fests, Ohio Brew Week, pregaming in the dorms as an underclassmen, but there is one thing that is sure to become the heart of any OU students' social life: the bars of Uptown Athens. Uptown Athens is home to 19 bars, most of which are located on two intersecting streets, Union and Court.

It's August now and pretty soon a whole new batch of undergrads will stride through College Gate and make the first steps in their drunken, stoned out, sex odyssey in Athens. This occasion is usually followed by a mad rush for these new freshmen to find fake i.d.'s so they too can partake in the drunken revelry of Uptown's plethora of drinking establishments.

Another guarantee that the new year brings is that the restrooms of the bars will be painted with a new layer of Sharpie ink from the thousands of students going on the Court Street Shuffle. This event entails having a drink at every bar in town within the course of a day. There is nothing more depraved, reckless, and irresponsible than the Court Street Shuffle. I would know, I'm multi-time veteran.

For those OU students fixin' to spend some time drinking at the bars this year, whether you're a first timer or a seasoned veteran, let this blog be your guide to the bars, each one's unique nature, and their go-to drinks to satisfy your blackout. Opinions are my own and may vary from person to person. Just know that this is the advice of an experienced OU alum and a fair and open-minded individual. Go Bobcats!